Positive Attitude and the Ugly Truth...

Okay so one of the buzzes around the CF community has been the discussion on positivity... Piper asked the question what does "positive" mean to you... So I decided to join in and write my blog as well... This is a tough one and can also be a touchy topic because everyone has a little different spin... So I have actually been pondering over it the last few days and although I am anxious to, I have not read anyones blog on the topic yet until I finish.... I want to stress that this is only my opinion and not intended to step on anyone else's feelings... it is just my personal feeling on the topic...

Positive Attitude

For me, dealing with my son's diagnosis I have traveled on many different roller coasters of emotion: anger, joy, hate, depression, love, despair, alone, peace, laughter, fear, fear, fear, and hope. Everything I have felt has been heightened to degree I have never experienced in my life before.... . And nothing I felt has ever been wrong, in fact it has all been HONEST... which is what I truly feel I must achieve for myself, honesty... You may wonder how that plays into my opinion on positivity, well here goes....


First off, I feel that in order for me to give my son the healthiest me, then I have to deal with ME.... I have to blog the good the bad and the ugly in order to deal with it myself, so I can move forward without being held hostage to my bottled up, undealt with emotions..... I don't want to live in a state of anger, or fear, or denial.. I want to love life, I want LANE to love life... So first I must deal with whatever emotions I have, whenever I have them, and that is okay.... Sometimes I think that people think dealing with emotions and throwing them all out there is negative.. I disagree I think it is healthy and necessary to be the best me I can be.... And I don't want my son to ever bottle it up... I don't want him to think that having a positive attitude on life means he cant be honest.... I think having a positive attitude means you CAN be honest...


I also feel that CF is a very misunderstood illness by many... and I feel that if I always paint a pretty picture of CF than why would anyone ever feel the need to help... Why would anyone ever feel the need to donate to Great Strides... It is our honest heart whelming stories that tug on peoples heart strings allowing them to help find a cure for this awful disease....




The ugly truth is most children and adults do not have to take treatments for 2 1/2 hours everyday. Most do not regularly choke down a pharmacy of pills, constantly perform PFTs to check on loss of lung function... Or regularly stick a giant swab down their throat, in order to detect the start of a life threatening bacteria.... Most never have to worry about liver or pancreatic damage, or lung transplants.... Most do not have to cough uncontrollably unable to clear there lungs... and most never cough up blood.... Most do not turn blue when they run, or constantly gasp for air.... Most take a single breath for granted.... (including me)... And most do not have a daily reminder that there life may be shortened due to the ugly roommate that has consumed there body.... The ugly truth is most do not have to endure this, unless you have CF




The TRUTH is, this is a horrific disease that robs youth of life... Yes it is true that Great Strides have been made to lengthen the lives of many to the mid 30's, but the ugly truth is young children are still losing their battle....The truth is I don't have to sit down and discuss with my son that this disease may kill him, because has already learned the hard way with the loss of his first CF friend Surfer Girl...



You may be thinking WOW this isn't sounding positive at all, please bare with me just a little longer....



The ugly truth is this disease is scary.... and I don't want to ever paint it as okay, because it is not okay... I don't want to ever settle for anything short of a cure, and in order to find a cure I am going to have to deal with the ugly truths of this disease daily... and continue to write about them...



But in choosing to have a positive attitude I choose to:



Wake up every morning with a bright outlook on the future, and to not allow the gloom of this disease to rob us of ANY joy that we may find in each and every day.... I choose to not hold the world hostage with bitterness, which could easily creep in when a family endures circumstances such as these... I choose to appreciate the smallest of things: the rainbow after a rain, the snow under a sled, the sound of a laugh, and even the sniffle of a cry... I choose to try my hardest to keep my heart open to receive all the blessings that God has in store for our lives... And God has placed some fantastic people in our lives over this last year, and I am so glad our hearts were open to experience being touched by all of them... I choose to praise God in the good times and I choose to praise God in the not so good times... I will have melt downs, and days that it is hard for me to pick up my chin, and that is okay, I pray God continues to give me the courage to be honest.....

I choose to teach my son, that although he has been dealt a harder path than most, that he is a fighter.... and he continues to teach us to to DREAM BIG and LIVE OUT LOUD!!!