Yesterday, swinging on the porch swing (only don't have porch) I start speaking to God.... "Okay Lord, I think I have figured out that we are on a stand off... Not that I want to question you... and I know that in order for me to heal and move forward, I must throw in the white flag... Why does that seem so difficult at times.... I know that the last few years have placed me in unfamiliar territory.... I know this has nothing to do with finances or mounting bills, this is much deeper than that.... This is my heart, my spirit, me.... "
"Going through the years of court battle, u tested me, and I grew in leaps and bounds....... I prayed, I meditated, I followed... Maybe not in the beginning, but once I handed it all over to you I followed... There was no confusion in my mind as, you provided the thousands and thousands of dollars it required for us to stand up for ourselves. You provided each step of the way as we encountered crooked attorneys, crooked Judges, and a failing justice system. You took a completely impossible situation and turned it into a triumph as you gave me the courage to continue to fight and stand up for what was right. You led me to an attorney with integrity, removed the Judge from the bench and replaced him with a Judge of Honor, and you reversed everything that had previously happened... It was a long process, one which taught me patience, and faith.... There was no doubt going into the courtroom that day, that you were totally in control... I was up at 5 am praying and meditating, trying to clear my fears that I may lose my attorney that day, for lack of funds concerning her latest bill, and even having to face her. We had words on the phone concerning the bill, and I had to hand that over to you as well..... My heart was heavy with anticipation that morning, yet filled with excitement knowing you were going to shine through me that day.... I remember saying 'God is all over this', there was NO doubt in my mind... It was the most comforting feeling... I wanted to announce it from the roof tops, I didn't know what would happen that day, but I knew it was going to be awesome.... I have never in my life felt so connected with you... I trusted you with every breath I took, you were my father, teaching me, leading me, and providing for me...." to be continued.