I am going on a 40 day 40 night Hiatus...

I previously posted a scripture in reference to there being a time for everything. I have struggled for months in an array of areas trying what ever necessary to prevent the downward spiral of our current situation, with no avail. I have pounded on doors, pleaded on the phone, cried myself into depression, and laughed my way back out of it again... It is in these times in our lives that we ask "God what do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go? How do you want me to get there?" Sometimes God needs us to be so transparent and so broken down that the only place to go is up.... and I am speaking spiritually here... I find myself at a crossroads, and it is between God and myself.... I need him, I need him all day, in every decision, around every corner... God has made it so clear.... many things that should have happened have not, things that shouldn't have happened, have... Everything I try is a bust... Why? because I am trying to stay in control of all of them, I am trying to solve them, and I have to let go of all of it and allow God to take the wheel... Sometimes stubbornness allows me to almost lose my mind in an attempt in fix something. Pride takes hold as well. Control, oh how I love control... I like to know where my next meal is coming from, if I will have a vehicle in a month or a week, I find comfort in knowing the gas and electric will not be disconnected, cuz cold showers just suck and toaster made muffins are just not the same. The need for comfort drives the need for control, so much so that I am disconnected with him... Don't get me wrong, I pray, plead, bargain with God, but I still battle my flesh too much... so hiatus it is for me.... Me and God that is... we have some things to work out... so I have removed my page counter, cuz it doesn't matter if a single soul reads this or not.. It is my journal, my journey and it is between him and I for forty days and forty nights... I will disable comments and you are free to leave an e-mail but I will not be checking that either until day 41. No facebook or myspace or website (that will be a tough one) for 40 days and 40 nights.... Yep just God and Me.... I would love to try the, go off to the desert or mountain version, but I have a family so this will be my avenue... and of course my avenue will include my family pics, my daily thoughts as well as my moments of humor... Cuz I truly believe God has a strong sense of humor. After all he created me lol.. To my dear friends that I am in contact with through these avenues, I am sorry that I will not be able to reply to you until day 41, but who knows I may write about you.... Yep you get a break from me lol... so here my journey begins day 1.... see look there, I already had to re edit this cuz I forgot to disable the comment box whew this is going to be a long 40 days.... but God has assured me well worth it....